German men have a bad reputation for being cold and insensitive. There are many who are exceptions and are overly sensitive, even doubting a woman who is interested in them. It’s important to pay attention to cues as you approach these men to figure out which kind you are dealing with.
It’s not uncommon for German men to enjoy being ordered around by women. Use eye contact to show your interest. That turns them on. Be confident but not arrogant. Don’t be afraid of being direct. Whereas in some cultures men find this intimidating, German men usually respond positively to a take-charge woman. And since they often live with their parents well into adulthood they may be used to being spoiled. If you don’t take charge it will be easy to fall into a pattern where he gets served constantly. German men often settle down in their 30s and spend years in the dating scene beforehand, so they may go from home to you.
Be punctual! Where it is acceptable in some cultures to be a few minutes late that goes against German manners. You will not get a second date if you show up late to the first. And getting that first date is tricky enough without making a mistake like running late.
Flirting is difficult in Germany. The reserved nature of the people combined with the social rules about when it’s acceptable to approach strangers (almost never) make meeting new people incredibly difficult. You can’t guarantee anyone will act on their feelings either, so that handsome fellow at the party may have a crush on you but would never say. And German men are not necessarily the best at giving compliments. It isn’t a common art in the culture. Not that they don’t admire you, it just may not come out the way you’d like.
It is usually difficult to get a date with a German if you do not speak the language. You may languish in a bar all night hoping for someone to approach you. Since it is a country with equal genders you’d think it would be easy to flirt, but shyness seems to be a national trait in the men.
You might meet a very direct stern German male in one club and a very sensitive, considerate German male in the next. It varies immensely. For either, the best way to approach a German man is to be friendly, make eye contact, and smile. This relaxes them and lets them know you aren’t too aggressive. It’s common for German men to prefer starting as friends before entering a relationship. In fact, it could take months of slow-motion “dating” so don’t go in expecting quick commitment!
Most German men, however, tend to be sensitive, hard to the outside, shy, sporty, caring, well-traveled, and loyal. Most are looking for serious relationships rather than hookups. With luck, you may discover a lifelong, stable lover man in Germany!
